Are they wearing a hat? Is it Max?


Ah, Guess Who? What a game. And thankfully not based on this film. In which case the questions would be: Are you white? Are you the most annoying fuckwit in the entire world? Does Bruce Willis ask to watch whenever you make love to your wife? Do you make Seann William Scott look like Cary Grant in comparison? Are you Ashton Kutcher? or Are you crying and punching the wall? Are you Sidney Poitier?

I was reintroduced to this little gem of a game last night by way of a recently acquired rickety second-hand set, which crucially has the same features and names that transport me back so readily to my youth. It also made me realise how I would only trust about 4 of them with my kids, which speaks volumes about the bleak 70s illustration style that gives the whole enterprise the aura of a Pigeon Street identity parade. “Yes, officer, I’m pretty sure it was Max who raped Long Distance Clara”.

If I can get round to scanning in each face, or finding the images on the web (which is proving troublesome) I’d like to do a series of posts doing imaginary casting for an imaginary Guess Who? movie. Imagine that. God knows what the plot would be, but surely some kind of whodunnit, but not murder, ’cause Cluedo’s got that shit locked down. Maybe some small scale fraud. Okay, I’m not really selling it.

Anyway, I found this site, which gives us a little look into the family concern who came up with the simple yet perfect idea of Guess Who? What I really like is the list of other games they came up with, each soundly more desperately misjudged than the last. I, for one, would feel deeply uncomfortable about my nippers wanting to play Number Rumba, Spearoscope (C’mon!) and especially Smart Mouth. I’d like to think they developed an adult version called Wiseass, but then again I’d like to think a lot of things.

And last of all, a little bit of fun for home from Instructables, which puts me in mind of a stand-up comedian who used to incorporate a game of real-life Guess Who? with his audience, and I’ll be damned I can’t remember his name. But, you know, nice one.


3 thoughts on “Are they wearing a hat? Is it Max?

  1. You only love it beacuse you cheat, or at the very least use some kind of ‘system’ to ensure victory. That’s akin to going on Deal or no Deal and playing with a ‘system’ it’s just not on. Don’t make me get all Noel Edmonds on yo ass.

  2. The Deal or no Deal “systems” are superstitious mumbo jumbo, usually used by creepy middle aged men, the kind who loiter by fruit machines or children playing frisbee who insist on telling you how to do it. It’s just a bloody guessing game! But please, do still get all Noel on my ass. I’d love to see how that would pan out.

  3. ‘THICK DAD’ VOICE-OVER:- “Is it Tom, Robert, Ann or Bill?


    I can still hear that advert in my senile greypaste, twenty five years on.

    What was Maria thinking, with that beret?

    Did Herman realise that his name would become a term of abuse?

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